19 October 2009

Seraphina's dress

And so she entered into the store. She has been waiting to find it and be able to get in for such a long time. Her excitement was obvious. Every piece in the store was new, all the clothes were fashionable and interesting. She started looking around, hoping to finally find her dream dress. In the begging she couldn’t find anything. The models were nice, but nothing extraordinary. Until she reached the sixth floor. She saw it and she immediately knew. It was perfect, just the way she had always imagined it – beautiful, stylish, made from the perfect high-quality material.
She went straight to it. She touched it and a slight smile went through her face. She had deserved it. For such a long time she had been looking for a suitable, nice dress that would fit her high standards, without being too overwhelming. She wanted it and needed it to suit all occasions – from the casual everyday life up to the posh events she was attending. It wasn’t an easy task for one dress to fulfill. This explained her huge excitement.
She was just grabbing it, when she saw it. The name tag was hanging from it as a dead sentence. Seraphina…So it was reserved. Or even worse – it was custom made for another girl. Her dream dress was already taken.
The store consultant came. She asked whether she could at least try it on. “But, it is already taken. Even if you try it on and it fits you well, you wouldn’t be able to take it home. Are you sure about it? Why don’t you simply look for another one. We offer such a variety of clothing.”
But she insisted. After all it was her dream dress – she was obliged at least to try it on – even it was just for a brief moment. Even if she had to live afterwards with the thought that it belonged to someone else. Even when she realized, it would be much more difficult to go ahead and search for another dress, knowing that some other girl is wearing hers in the very same moment.
The store consultant finally got convinced by her insistence – she was determined at least to try it on once. She let her take it to the dressing rooms.
And so she took it slowly off the hanger. She started putting it on with no hurry, because she wanted to sense the touch of it, to remember the smell of it and how it felt to have it on her skin, all over her. She looked herself into the mirror. And felt in love with it, as it was perfect. She would never forget it – the moment of true ecstasy, when she was staying with her dream dress, perfectly fitting her, all alone in the privacy of the dressing room. It felt like her dress, for a moment she was convinced there was no other way, but to be hers and hers only. There was no time, there was no space, no Seraphina…Only her and her dream dress, that she had wished for so desperately.
The voice of the consultant took her out of her delirium. It was time to go. The store was closing. She knew from the begging it would never be her dress. And she tried it on with the clear awareness she would have to leave it behind.
She went out, letting the sliding doors of the closing store to separate them forever. She went home, with the only wish to stop thinking of it and to be able not to compare every other piece of clothing she would find on her way with it. But it was inevitable. And she knew it. There was some time to pass before she could forget the touch of the silk on her skin, before she could find another model so perfectly fitting her and her expectations. But she had no other choice, as the dressed belonged to someone else.
“I can’t understand women like her”, the consultant said to one of her colleagues, after they closed the store. “They seem to like a certain dress so much, but it has always made me think – Do they actually like the dress that much or is it just the fact, it’s someone else’s that makes them want it so badly?”